Day 5 & 6

non-spoiler alert: unexciting stuff ahead, or at least nothing about Nikolas...

Day 5
Back in our very nice apartment in Sofia, we had only one item on the agenda: to sign paperwork at a notary. With that taken care of by 10am, we did some walking and shopping and took a tram, though the wrong one, back towards our apartment. We found that the tram street was a pretty high end shopping area that ended at a very nice park, complete with the first and only lawnmower of the trip. Most of the shops handled us speaking English quite well. At the park, there were a good number of children friendly vendors including a bungee/trampoline combo and a clear vinyl ball floating in a fountain pool that a kid could get inside and jump around or run like gerbils... The view of the mountains to the south of Sofia from here is almost otherworldly!

Some unusual observations:

• there are quite few stray dogs in Sofia - apparently only very recently have they formed packs and attacked anyone.
  
• There are smokers everywhere!
• Propane gas is available at most gas stations for appropriately outfitted cars.
• Park benches are occupied by high school age couples after school. After 5pm or so, the couples age and are frequently accompanied by beer.
• Beer is available in 1.5L & 2L plastic bottles. Even the better Bulgarian varieties.
• There was an 8' section in the pretty high end grocery we found devoted entirely to varieties of salami, dried or cured pork, etc. both in pre-sliced and traditional sausage shapes. And there was more in the deli case.
• There was an even longer section devoted to a variety of yogurts - many with the % of milkfat listed prominently. They were super yummy!
  

Even with the distractions of shopping for Nikolas, Tam, souvenirs, breakfast for Day 6, etc. we were definitely down. After some take away dinner (which felt like a very rare thing), we crashed.

Day 6
Up at 3:45am for a 4:30am pickup, for a 655am flight. Sofia airport was wonderfully empty. We got into Paris on time and made our connection to Miami. They fed us twice - which wasn't quite as yummy as Alitalia, but since we were getting in at 9:45pm (body time)... There we had to make it through Customs with Barry trying to use a Customs declaration in French - everything was right except the two addresses - ooops! Wouldn't have been bad, except that we had to make a connection to RDU in less than 2 hours - including collecting luggage, checking in, and getting back through security. The real wooooosh kicked in when we made it with about 20 minutes prior to boarding. We made in home at about 3am (body time). Tiring under vacation circumstances, let alone for emotionally wasted parents...

Some warnings to future travelers:
Plan on both physical and emotional exhaustion after you have to leave your child. Obvious, but you'll have a legitimate need to grieve at leaving him/her at the orphanage, and again when you leave Bulgaria. There is only one thing that will help: time - to love and be loved by your family & friends, pray if you do, and rest. With time to reflect and move past the anger and denial phases, you can then free your energy and attention to return to "normal" life and recover from the plane trip(s), changes in diet, etc. We were "lucky" to have a 7 hour drive from the orphanage to Sofia - both for cat naps and for getting the anger out about why the process had to be the way it is.
Make our mistake of trying to resist this and you may fall through the enveloping sadness into depression. Ain't pretty! Feels worse :(
Even with the feeling gone, it stills takes a lot more energy to perform the tasks of "normal" life. Things as simple as typing this show the effects (even typing accuracy is way down!) - let alone being creative about how to play with Tam, what to cook, etc. The complete cure is going back and getting him!

So, about a week and a half later, we are facing the extent of our wounds, opening up about them, and beginning to help each others heal.